I went to the chiropractor today and she took some x-rays.
Found out that my pain is caused by my spine being curved/straightened more than it should be.
Here are the x-rays:
So I have to go to corrective therapy 3x a week for the next 12 weeks. *le sigh* And it’s not even my fault. Given the current state of my spine, many would infer that a car accident or an athletic injury is to blame. But since neither of those are the case, I’m just fucking weird.
I’ll hopefully be able to get pics of my spine in 3 months after the corrective therapy.
You know, it kind of pains me inside to see so many of my friends in happy relationships. But don’t get me wrong, I’m so glad that they’re happy and that they’re together; so perfect together. It gives me hope.
But at the same time, it hurts.
I want that so badly. But I don’t need it. I’d just prefer to be in someone’s company, giving me so much attention just for me. He wants me in his life and I want him in mine. It would be wonderful to have that.
I have no doubt in my mind that I will find someone perfect for me. Granted, it may take a while, years even. But that day will come. I have sooo much faith in that. Especially because my best friend, whom I would hang out with nearly every day of my life, has now found a boy who, oddly enough, I actually approve of (which isn’t very often), who do I call when I need to talk to someone?
My friends and I joke around and say that my best friend and I are like the same person. We say the same responses at the same time, think the exact same things, we pretty much are the same person. I’m not afraid of losing her. I’m just afraid that she’ll spend most of her time with him and prefer to hang with him than me. Granted, I know that she’ll spend a lot of her time with him. I don’t expect anything less.
If it’s a joke that we are the same person, why do I feel like a part of me is missing?
Ever since they got together, I don’t feel the same like I used to. Me not having a boyfriend, her getting one, me wanting one so badly but not willing to lower my standards (which I won’t)… everything just makes me want to cry.
It’ll take some time to get used to her spending the majority of the time with him. I want school to start, not just because I’m excited for my classes, but because I need a distraction.
I’m the kind of person who keeps most of his deep, inner problems to himself. If it were anybody else, I would share this with my best friend. But since it’s her, I really don’t have anyone to talk to. Or at least, I don’t feel like I do…
But like I said before, I’m not going to lower my standards just for the sake of having a boyfriend. I will wait to have the right person. I won’t waste my time with the immature fools in between.
I feel like crying. Normally, I would call her, meet up with her (she lives a few houses down), and cry on her shoulder.
1. Jerry K. 2. 19 3. Molly, Najwa, Frank, Melanie 4. Single motherfuckers 5. Left earlobe 6. Industrial on left ear 7. “XIV” on my right rib cage 8. “Faith” or something like that somewhere 9. I have no favourite blog. But I like yellowasian.tumblr.com cos there’s attractive, nearly nude males on there. What can I say… I want what I can’t have. 10. My url is my name. Nothing special about that bitches. 11. I really like Ellie Goulding. Saw her concert at The Wiltern in LA a few days ago. 12. I liked Princess Diaries and Wall-E. 13. I “carpe diem” every day. 14. I hate my low self-esteem. 15. My altruism, my permissiveness, my veracity. 16. Myself. 17. Just being able to be ourselves and not have to hold back. Location doesn’t matter. 18. Too hot weather, too cold weather. Feeling sick. 19. I have no weakness. I’m fabulous, bitch. 20. Arachno- and ligyro- pretty much. Don’t judge me by my 2nd phobia. It’s weird I know. I can’t help it. 21. The amount of work/reading required. 22. Personality is a +. Arms. Back. Neck. Again, don’t judge. 23. Personality. Cute geek look. Intelligent. Keeps my interest. 24. Drug-user, alcoholic, lack of respect for others(me). 25. The female praying mantis eats the male praying mantis after (and while) mating. 26. “Seize the day, trusting in as little as possible in tomorrow.” “I don’t expect people to hurt me; I’d rather enjoy trusting them.” 27. Ain’t confessing nothing on tumblr that I have “on my chest.” 28. I hate no one. “Hate is a strong word, but I really really really don’t like you.” 29. Cried talking to my best friend. Reason as to the crying shall remain hidden. 30. Looks are great but personality beats it all. I’d rather have a (boy)friend with an amazing personality & not the most pleasant of appearances rather than the hottest guy in the world with the worst personality. Granted, looks are important too because that’s usually the initial attraction. Ya need a good balance of both. Or better yet, a great personality with a great appearance — those are nearly impossible to find.
Woke up at 830 to take my dog to the hospital cos he had an ear infection. Thankfully it wasn’t too serious and we got it taken care of.
Got ready and went to have lunch with a friend 20 minutes away from where I live. Had a nice lunch at a sushi place.
Now at some meeting … Called WE! And honestly I don’t really know what I’m doing here cos I could be having much more fun elsewhere. Or napping. Leaving soon though so that’s nice. I’d like to go home now please.